OBJ: Is he truly One of Us?

Sorry for the unexplained absence. We had a death in the extended Generalist family recently. Last weekend was taken up by a funeral and a celebration of life, and it ended up taking a lot out of me emotionally.

However, the friend in question whose race was run far before his time would not want me moping like Sad Reverend Lovejoy, playing with his trains and awaiting a baboon-inspired surge of inspiration. It's time to get back in the saddle.

Fortunately, the Vikings provided all the inspo needed by signing former outstanding wide receiver and first-ballot Hall of Fame weirdo Odell Beckham Jr. to their practice squad this week. Now, Beckham's best days are well in the past, but he does have a history of succeeding in a Kevin O'Connell offense, and it seems like his days of stirring up controversy are well behind him. The Vikings' depth at WR has been tested by injuries to Justin Jefferson and Jordan Addison, so it'll cost the team next to nothing to take a flyer on a guy who still has more talent in his big toe than many NFL wideouts have in their whole bodies.

But that's not what intrigues me the most. No, I'm more excited about the opportunity to debate whether Odell Beckham Jr. is officially One of Us. Let me explain. For years, Minnesotans of a certain bent (white and breathing) have been obsessed with defining our value by what others around the country think of us. And one way to get people to think highly of us, apparently, is to claim anyone with even the most cursory Minnesota roots to be Full-Blown Minnesotans.

John Madden? Born in Austin, he's as Minnesotan as Spam, even if he grew up in California. Amy Adams? She spent a few years acting at the Chanhassen Dinner Theater. Kofi Annan and Bob Mould both went to Macalester. MASH's Mike Farrell was born in South St. Paul but left the stench of the meat-packing plants behind when he was 2. Still ours. Bernie Leadon? The co-founder of The Dude's least favorite band was born in Minneapolis, moved to San Diego when he was 10, and is still One of Us.

The charge was traditionally led by thirsty try-hard pick-me boi Sid Hartman, whose daily sports column and WCCO Radio hits made him as ubiquitous as passive-aggressive comments by your mother-in-law from roughly 1950 until 2020, when he succumbed to the boredom of a sports-free pandemic world at the tender age of 100. Sid was a master at rooting out the Local Angle to the extent that if an athlete, celebrity or serial killer spent a week at a resort on Gull Lake in 1971, he'd tout it in the Star Tribune.

I think it's time to lay down some criteria, however. We need to get to the bottom of Who Is One of Us ... and how they did or didn't earn that status. And our first test case is Odell Beckham Jr. He's never played for a Minnesota team before. BUT, his mother is Heather Van Norman, one of Minnesota's most-decorated track athletes of all-time. She single-handedly won the state high school track championship for Windom HS not once but twice by sweeping the three sprint races. Van Norman attended Louisiana State University on a track scholarship, and in Baton Rouge she met LSU football player Odell Beckham, with whom she had a son named Odell Beckham Jr., because when you've got a name as badass as Odell Beckham you damn well better pass that along to your firstborn son.

Now OBJ is a Viking, sort of. He's still on the practice squad as of this writing and might never go beyond that status. But when you stack all the facts, has Odell Beckham Jr. done enough to merit the coveted One of Us title?

I didn't feel like I could responsibly decide this crucial matter by myself, so I called on a panel of celebrity friends and other true-blue Minnesotans to weigh in. Here's what they said:

Judd Zulgad, SKOR North uberpodcaster and proprietor of Judd's Substack: "OBJ might be a Viking, but he doesn't qualify as one of us.  At least not yet. For Minnesota sports fans to adopt him, OBJ would need to have a positive impact on the season. Otherwise, he joins the list of guys who simply passed through town. That list is filled with big names who either had a cup of coffee here and did nothing memorable or, worse, proved to be busts. We want to claim players as our own, but they have to earn it."

Longtime Star Tribune writer and editor Howard Sinker took a break from prepping the next generation of socialist sportswriters at Macalester (and from writing his excellent weekly blog for the Daily Agenda) to offer an alternative to my binary way of thinking:

"OBJ is on the practice squad. To misappropriate Allen Iverson, 'Not a game. We're talking about practice.' Because his mother is from Windom, Beckham arrives with 'Minnesota ties' status. Stick with the Vikings, eat Heggies pizza and go to the State Fair next summer? Then I'll reconsider."

Minnesota ties. I like that. Meanwhile, Hector's own Stu Neuman, who demonstrates his chops as Minnesota's Finest Satirist (Non-Octogenarian Sex Creep Division) at both Twins Daily and his next-level awesome Midwest Excellence newsletter, was extremely succinct. "Yes, because his mom is from Windom which means he’s spent Thanksgiving or Xmas on the icy roads of Cottonwood County."

Niche-sports fanatic and local soccer scribe and podcaster Jon Marthaler weighs in on the Yes side as well: "He’s not only One of Us, I’m genuinely aggrieved the Vikings haven’t signed him before."

Next, let's hear from Dave Campbell, longtime sports reporter for the Associated Press' Minneapolis bureau and also one of my bosses and all-around good egg: "As much as I personally appreciate discovering those Minnesota connections, particularly one as charming as OBJ’s mom growing up on the prairie, I think you need to either have been born here or played here to make the cut. Lines have to be drawn somewhere. Let’s add lived here as a youth or young adult to the qualifications. But he’s sadly still not going to make it."

Chuck Terhark, Twin Cities bon vivant, international man of mystery and cofounder of a company that provides the world's best bar trivia (and thus is another of my bosses): "I'm from North Dakota, where we still claim Wiz Khalifa as one of our own, so I'm all for a very generous open-door policy, but I think this stretches the 'local angle' a little too far. You have to at least be born here, don't you?" I don't know, Chuck – we claim you despite your Dakotan roots.

Local musician/screenwriter/ghostwriter/ad copy writer and Irish whiskey-knower Marc Conklin says, "I would say by normal Minnesota standards, absolutely! I mean, we’d claim him as a '4-O' (One Of Our Own) even if his mom spent just three months here doing an internship. She actually grew up in Windom, so of course!"

Next, we hear from Matt Lindstrom, a Minneapolis Baseball Dad and Music Maven who married well: "Yeah, if mom lived and excelled here, her kid is definitely one of us."

Midwestern ex-pat and Minnesota Valley Lutheran HS grad Damon Kimble weighs in from somewhere on the Atlantic seaboard: "His mom being from Windom does not One of Us OBJ make. It should have more stringent requirements than getting Canadian citizenship. Being a congressman in an MSP restroom is not enough. At minimum, play a season Shattuck or do a clinical rotation at Mayo."

Northfield's favorite amateur astronomer/photographer/meterologist Karlee Kanz, who has done more than her share of writing and thinking and obsessing about the Vikings over the years: "I would say OBJ would be one of us, especially by ‘Kevin Bacon’ standards (iykyk). He previously worked with Kevin O’Connell and won a Super Bowl with him. And Kevin has coached for 5 seasons, and to me if you’ve lived here for 5 years you’re an official Minnesotan. So by proxy, yes, OBJ is one of us. I mean, his hair is also purple. Purple = Vikings/Prince so he’s one of us dontchyaknow."

Longtime friend and first-10 Generalist subscriber Kevin Farley took a break from tearing up the links to set the bar even higher: "The only way OBJ becomes one of us is if he is key factor in a Super Bowl run, not just on practice squad with a couple games. Needs a big catch or big game in the playoffs."

Generalist brother Mike Donnelly, who has forgotten more about wrestling than any of you will ever know: "Not one of us unless he actually plays in a few games. Otherwise he’s always going to be an LSU Tiger/NY Giant."

And last but certainly not least, let's hear from my friends Ann and Holly, whom I've known for 50+ years and know a thing or two about football and what it means to be a Minnesotan.

Ann: "Well, of course. He was on my fantasy football team a couple years ago. Claimed!"

Holly: "Yes, only because his mom is in the MSHSL Hall of Fame. So now we will claim him I guess 🤷‍♀️"

My New Ulm math tells me that's seven no/not yet votes and seven aye votes. The verdict? Too close to call. But the stage is set for a One of Us coronation ceremony in February if OBJ plays his cards right.

Thank you for your time and your support of The Generalist. We'll be back at full-strength next week. I feel a couple of music posts brewing, at the very least. And as always, please share this with your friends and enemies who you think might appreciate this kind of thing.